When you meet a new person chances are there will be hard to find topics to talk about. Not all people are easy-going and master the art of small talk. So, if you go on a date and you feel like the other person is shy or not talkative at all, here are a few things you can try in order to break the ice.
One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat is of course to start with a small talk. Start with general questions and try to understand what are the other person’s likes and dislikes, as well as get an idea of what are the topics that are close to heart like hobbies, interests, pets. Once you have a general idea of what are the things your date is interested in, you can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes.
But of course everyone is afraid of those awkward moments of silence during a date. There are a few tips that can help you to get over these moments and keep the chat flowing naturally:
Most people are nervous about meeting new people. And it is mainly because everyone of us is afraid of being rejected. It’s natural for us to want to be accepted and liked. That is why genuine compliments will make the other person relax and feel good about him/herself. But of course don’t just compliment the color of the eyes or whiteness of the teeth. Try to be creative and find something that you really find attractive about your date. People tend to become more confident and much more relaxed after they hear a compliment, because they know that they are liked.
2. Have Fun Questions Prepared
Asking good and witty questions can be another way to keep the good conversation going. To avoid awkward moments of silence make sure you prepare a few questions beforehand. Something that you can always seamlessly insert into your conversation and make the other person open up and share more about themselves.
You can always use such open questions as “why” and “how”. Asking these simple questions usually make other person feel like you are genuinely interested in what they have to say and as a result feel important and good about themselves. Which also leads to better communication and much more successful first date.
3. Listen Carefully
Sometimes when we don’t like the topic of the conversation we tend to lose interest and try to change the subject. But it is very important to understand the reasons why your date brought certain topics up. If your date is talking passionately about her dog for a while, then clearly it is very important to this person. So you should listen and ask questions.
Everyone enjoys to hear a great joke and to laugh. So, make sure you have a few good (not cheesy) jokes prepared. Then if the awkward moment arrives, you can always laugh it off and improve the mood.
5. Change The Activity
If you are on a date in a cafe or restaurant and you feel like the other person is too shy and not ready to talk, try to change activity. Suggest to go for a walk in a park. Not only it is romantic, but also very relaxing. While you are walking, you don’t have to make eye-contact across the dinner table, which makes conversation flow much easier.
While you talk, there could be subjects that you don’t agree on. Which is absolutely fine. Just try to allow your date to have their point of view, you don’t have to win all arguments, you know. Remember that you both are here because you want to have a good time and maybe find the love of your life. And even if the other person has completely opposite views on something which is very important to you, let it be. You can decide if you can live with it later, there is no point in ruining the evening because of your political views, for example.
And finally, if you feel like your date is not going anywhere, don’t be afraid to call it a night. Apologize and say something like “Well, I really should get going. It was nice meeting you.” And then follow our tips on what to do after the first date here.
What do you think about our suggestions? Do you find them helpful? We wish you always have a wonderful and memorable dates!