Your Place Or My Place? Sex On The First Date

Is sex on the first date a good idea? It’s a tricky question. I have seen many examples when it didn’t harm the relationship at all, meaning that the guy and the girl who had sex on the first date stayed together after it happened and they had a long and happy relationship. On the other hand you can see a lot of examples when it will be either the last night the two particular persons spend together some sexy time or they just become lovers. I think the key factors in this topic are three fundamental things.


Can you stay cool?

A lot will depend on how cool and independent you can stay after the sex. Both men and women can become a demanding person after the first sex which most likely will result in a break up. To be able to win this love game you need to look like (being is even better) an independent person, who is strong, confident and successful without being with someone. The minute people sense that the other person demands more attention, caring etc. they got scared and run away as fast as they can. There are two exceptions. One is when the other person is just as desperate to find someone who they can rely on as well. The other is when you meet with The One. I will come back to this later. However you shouldn’t try to challenge this point and just try to be strong and independent. Just imagine yourself to the other person’s shoes, would you be amazed by a person who s texting you all the time, questioning you why you haven’t replied to the 50 messages you sent etc. Stay cool, enjoy the moment and have 0 expectations toward the other person after a first date sex.


If sex happens at the first date the attraction must be very strong

It can happen that two people meet, they start to talk, they might have a chance to get in physical contact and bum, you feel the amazing attraction, tunnel vision is on and the air is sparkling between you two. I think talking is very important factor here. If there is no valuable talk before or after the sex, the relationship most likely will end up becoming lovers or worse, saying goodbye. I am not referring to a long talk where you give a detailed monologue about your life from your birth until the present. Be funny, share your interest and tell interesting facts, thoughts about yourself. Try to have a balanced conversation. My experience is that the person who gives out more information about him or herself will be more attached to the other person who shared less information. So try to either keep it in balance or just tell slightly less information then the other person does. Don’t get into the other fault to not share anything though.


There is nothing stronger than a matching couple

I was referring to this at the first point. I believe in one thing very strongly. If two people are somehow meant to be together, when they are really match to each other and meet at the right time, they will end up being together no matter what. The good thing in that is that you just can’t do it wrong. You can have sex on the first date or on the 20th one. It doesn’t matter because it will just work out fine. Therefore the hard part is not to entice the Mr Big or Mrs Big, but to find them.

This is why online dating can help you a lot. It provides enormous amount of possibilities where you can look for your matching partner in a safe environment. When you upload profile pictures and information properly, you can experience how effective and fast it can be. You can find online dating tips here which will help you to put you in the right direction.In case you don’t find the person you are looking for online, you can still have fun and kill the time with dating with others while you are waiting for the right person to step into your life.

I think another important thing is to keep in mind and really be able to enjoy the journey itself. Sometimes finding the right partner takes really long and seems exhausting, but at the end of the day it is all on you what attitude you choose. You can see it as a long, hard, disappointing process or you can see it as a funny experience where you can learn a lot from these stupid situations. Life is not about not to make any mistakes, but about learning from our mistakes. So if you happened to have already sex on the first date and it didn’t grow into a relationship however you were up for it, try to learn from the situation and what was wrong. If you haven’t done it yet, try a first date sex when the attraction is so strong that it is physically impossible to resist.